Songs of Meaning

Any more all I want in life is to live for my King, my Lord, my Savior.  This song to me says alot to me.  It talks about my desire, a desire to do what the Lord wants of me.

I have gone years just wondering how exactly God can use me.  Ever since I left Nashville, Tn, I have struggled belonging anymore.  Back at the end of 2002, after living on the rurual coast of Northern California, we ended up in Redding, California.  I struggled so much trying to fit in.  I tried different churches, tried to get involved, but nothing seemed right. We did finally found a church we liked spring of 2008, a year in half before we moved, go figure.  The awesome thing was God put friends there that I got to see daily.  The one thing I longed for all those years.  The  only reason why I struggled, was because I was not in the will He had for my life and I think He  just wanted me to be still and be a mommy and rest in Him in just that.

 He did however take me through a fire the last three years in Redding.  That fire was all part of His prefect plan for my life and my families.  It was for the good of me, getting me ready for what was to come next.  Now after going through all I have since being here in Tyler, Tx and knowing that this is now my life, living in chronic pain.  I feel lead to blog my experience for friends, family, and strangers to see.  I want them to see that even in my weakness, on my worse days I still desire to do what my Saviour wants me to do. 

First is to be the wife to the man I love, I love him now more then I ever have. 
Second is to be mommy to all my beautiful peeps.  Raising them the best I can drawing on the strength of God each and everyday. 
Third is a new one, but that is to be the best preschool teacher I can be.  These little babies that I care for are a true blessing and there are days I have to go home and rethink how to handle some of them. 
Fourth and final are my blogs.  I want God to speak thorough me to who ever may need to read the words I write. 
I have no doubt in my mind that these 4 things are God's desire and will for me right now.  The furture is the future, I can not worry about what tomorrow brings.

My Desire, Jeremy Camp
You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King
You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu75ATYbufI